Do you find trust disgusting, Anon?
That’s what BDSM boils down to. An insane amount of trust that most ‘vanilla’ couples may never experience. When trust trumps the possibility of harm, the result can feel incredibly intimate and erotic.
Many people who do not participate in BDSM call it things like “disgusting”, “perverse”, “dehumanizing”, etc etc. But people who participate see it as one of the most loving, nurturing, and intimate forms of human contact. As I said before, there is an intense level of trust, there are clear rules and limitations, and open communication which creates a deep and special erotic bond.
Vast studies have shown that the majority of participants in the BDSM community are mentally healthy and typical in every aspect. For example, I have a friend who is a very respected lawyer who represents many well-known clients. She loves stupid movies/tv shows, working out and playing with her pet ducks. On the nights and weekends, she is a fucking fierce Dom.
2-3% of American adults actively participate in the BDSM community, be it occasionally, sometimes or 24/7. Around 20% of American adults find arousal in BDSM images or stories. Just ask some of your friends that are into Japanese Hentai or your mom who probably has some paperback romance novels stashed somewhere in her bedside table. You could also just visit a BDSM club, since there is one in almost every major metropolitan city in rural America.
Do I really have problems if I find sexual pleasure in pain? Think about the last time you exercised. That burn in your muscles. That pleasant ache in your arms and legs. The adrenaline pumping through your veins… Feels good, huh? What about those people who playfully punch each other on the arms when they’re laughing, or the athletes who give each other a hard slap on the back or ass when they’re proud of their teammate. People don’t see that as abuse. They see it as a sign of affection, praise and appreciation.
I don’t find pleasure in breaking an arm, getting a bite or sting from an insect or getting punched in the face. I feel that pain just like you do. But when I’m in an intimate situation with someone that I trust explicitly, I experience an intense sensation that I derive sexual gratification from. Not to mention, the rules and limits have been specified before play even begins, AND EVERYTHING IS CONSENSUAL.
BDSM has been around for as long as sex has been around. Ancient Greek art depicts it as does the Kama Sutra. European references begin in the 15th century and really took off in the 18th century in the majority of brothels (with female Doms and male subs, mind you).
In the late 1700s, the French Marquis de Sade gave us the very first SM novel. His name is where the term “Sadomasochism” comes from. In the late 1800s, Leopold von Sacher-Masoch published a novel about male sexual submission. His name gives us the term “Masochism”. In the early 1900s, Freud coined the term “Sadomasochism” and said that the enjoyment of such activities was “neurotic”. And yes, the original Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (1952) classified sexual sadism as a “deviation.”. In 1968, they did the same for masochism, and in 1994, they listed SM as a psychiatric disorder.
But before you jump on the old and outdated LET’S HATE ON BDSM ENTHUSIASTS bandwagon, remember that not too long ago, oral sex and homosexuality were considered “perverse”, and are still considered as such in some places most people consider “backwards”.
Bottom line? BDSM is not disgusting. It’s about trust, clear communication and finding pleasure with someone with whom you have a deep erotic bond.
Too long, didn’t read? If you don’t like BDSM, then don’t play. And don’t take your misunderstanding or dislike of the subject as a reason to judge and spew vitriol towards those who do.
(via hetalia-tendencies)Source: asgardianbrothertouching
It’s one of the most misogynist things out there.
dictating how a woman chooses to express herself sexually is misogynistic
it’s also misogynistic to assume that all women undertake a sub position
it’s also heterosexist to assume that all bdsm is heterosexual
Geeky Domme calls BULL SHIT and kindly reminds viewers that she is a woman.
BDSM is about a voluntary power exchange related to free expression of sexual and personal relationship desires. By not recognizing such a voluntary exchange as “legitimate”, a critic stifles the self-expression of all participating members, INCLUDING FEMALE SUBMISSIVES.
Those who do not support the choice and consensuality of BDSM cannot call themselves a feminist.
I just love that Tumblr’s problem with 50 Shades of Grey isn’t “my goodness, it’s so pornographic!” but instead “oh my god this is the worst written porn I’ve ever read am I allowed to send this author some choice livejournal entries so she can improve her style”
*steeples fingers* Allow me to demonstrate proper technique
(via maura-cumbercrotch)Source: deathtiel